Love And Hatred

Loving and Hating at the Same Time: A Biblical Tension

One of the more difficult tensions in the Christian life is how the Bible teaches us to both love our enemies and at the same time hate evil. Many people scratch their heads when they hear David say, “Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD? … I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies” (Psalm 139:21–22, ESV), while Jesus commands, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44, ESV). Is this a contradiction? Not at all. It’s a distinction we must hold carefully if we want to love faithfully and biblically.

Love Defined by the Object

The Bible doesn’t use the word love in a shallow, sentimental way. Love is active, seeking the ultimate good of the object. But what that looks like depends on who the object is:

• Toward fellow Christians: love includes affection, patience, forgiveness, and service (John 13:34–35; 1 Cor. 13; Rom. 12:10).
• Toward neighbors (all people): love means seeking their good as image-bearers of God (Matt. 22:39; Luke 10:25–37).
• Toward enemies: love means praying for them, doing them good where possible, and refusing revenge (Matt. 5:44; Rom. 12:20–21).
• Toward God: love means worship, obedience, delight, and reverence (Deut. 6:5).

Love is always aimed at the good, but the expression differs with the relationship.

What About Hatred?

The Bible also speaks of hatred, but not in the sense of petty grudges or vindictive anger. Rather, it calls us to a righteous hatred, a moral opposition to wickedness. Proverbs 8:13 says, “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.” Psalm 97:10 echoes, “O you who love the LORD, hate evil!”

This kind of hatred is not about personal vengeance but about aligning our hearts with God’s holiness. We hate what God hates: sin, rebellion, and oppression, because those things dishonor Him and destroy people.

Love and Hatred Together

Here’s the key distinction:

• Love seeks the good of the sinner.
• Righteous hatred opposes the sin.
• Personal vengeance (getting even, relishing harm) is never compatible with love.

The Christian can, at the same time, love a wicked person (by praying for them, showing mercy, doing good) and hate their wickedness (by opposing it, longing for God’s justice). In fact, you cannot love rightly without hating what destroys. To refuse to hate sin is to fail to love the sinner’s soul.

The Psalms and Jesus’ Command

When David prays for God to destroy the wicked, he is not indulging in a personal grudge; he is entrusting judgment to God. When Jesus commands us to love our enemies, He is forbidding personal vengeance and commanding us to show God’s mercy. Both are consistent: we hate evil, love the sinner, and leave justice in God’s hands.

As Romans 12:19–21 says:

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Voices from Church History

The Puritans and later preachers like Charles Spurgeon understood this tension well. Spurgeon once said:

“We are to love our enemies, but we are to hate God’s enemies. We are to love sinners, but we are to hate sin.”

That is the balance: a heart that loves with Christlike mercy while burning with holy opposition to sin.

A Takeaway for Us

Here’s a helpful summary:

• Love seeks the good.
• Righteous hatred opposes evil.
• Vengeance seeks personal satisfaction.

Love and righteous hatred can coincide. Personal vengeance and love cannot.

Christians today must learn to live in this tension. We cannot embrace the world’s sentimental idea of love that refuses to name evil, nor can we indulge in vengeful bitterness disguised as zeal. Instead, we must walk as Christ did: “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).

At Radiant Hope Biblical Counseling, we help Christians wrestle with these tensions in their walk with Christ. Loving biblically sometimes means hating rightly. The goal is always God’s glory and the ultimate good of others, even our enemies.